People really extend themselves when you have a new baby. They bring casseroles, offer to clean the floors, say things like, "you look fantastic!" when you clearly have runny, yellow, infant feces in your hair.
Some, however, take it one step further by offering super helpful baby advice. The kind they think you need when the baby is screaming bloody murder. The kind they offer when you're trying to arrange your sore, unsightly mammary glands in some kind of suitable fashion inside the screaming baby mouth. "You're breastfeeding? You're not feeding her enough. That's why she's crying."
Ah, yes. I've not thought of that. I must have been preoccupied drinking herbal teas made of dirt and fertilizer, taking supplements I can't pronounce, spending hours around the clock with a plastic pump attached to my chest like the prize cow at the county fair. I may be feeding her nothing but granola bars and the highest amount of wine that website said I could safely drink in a 2 hour period, but I'm feeding her. At least I thought I was.
It's one thing when friends and family express opinions, often well-intentioned. It's quite another when complete strangers observe you, frazzled and defeated, in an elevator, and say this.
Stranger: "Cute baby."
Me: "Thanks. We're on our way out for a walk. It helps her to stop crying."
Stranger: "Are you breastfeeding?"
Me: "Um, well, yes. Yes, I'm....yes, breastfeeding."
Stranger: "That baby's not getting enough from you. You should give her formula."
She said it in a very "I'm with Child Services" kind of tone, too. It really infuriated me.
If I didn't have yellow poop in my hair and negative six hours of sleep, I really would have knocked her block off. Gotta run, baby's hungry....
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