Ah, fall. My favorite time of year. For me, it's turning leaves, dark beer, clothing that covers up my most unfortunate lady parts...likely as a result of the dark beer, straight hair, new Oprah.
For the husband, football. Football viewing on a man-sized TV.
This weekend, I thought I'd honor the crisp, cool, fall morning with a meal fit for a man and his TV. Chili. He found me at 7 a.m., on the living room floor, cookbooks strewn everywhere searching for the recipe. Turns out, it's a publishing requirement for every cookbook to contain a chili recipe and none of them are simple. It's a bit like the modern Bloody Mary. They just throw anything in these days. Pickles, celery, horseradish, nail polish remover, tweezers, a Celine Dion CD.
A few bubbling hours later, a decent chili was born and moderately happily consumed by the husband. The thing is, there was no zsa zsa zsu. No child-like wonder in his eyes.
If you'll be so kind to send along your most satisfying family chili recipes, the husband and I will choose one to receive a $25 certificate to any Restaurant.com restaurant.
Just one request...stay light on the beans. If you catch my drift.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Dinner with Oprah
Oprah began her new season this week. I'm sure I didn't need to tell you that. Can I get a woop woop ladies? That's right. Putcha hands UP. Ok, I'll stop now.
Because I record it every day and think about it the last 3 hours of work, it's really myonly first priority when I arrive home. As a result, dinner stinks suffers a little.
The First Week of New Oprah Survival Plan works like this: Think in terms of quick, defrostable results that still require a stove. Then, buy as much frozen food as possible and some sort of really powerful bottled sauce, so the quality of the food is completely masked. This will save you, at the very least, the entire hour needed to enjoy uninterrupted, sobbing-if-you're-lucky, Oprah bliss. When it's over, dry your eyes, pry yourself off the couch, dump a whole lotta frozen food into a pan and douse it with sauce.
When he arrives, appear moderately (don't overdo it, Oprah promotes honesty) exhausted and say something breathless like, "I sure hope you like chicken and fresh vegetable stir-fry."
In the end, he doesn't starve and you probably learned how to live your best life, help children in Africa and all about how Whitney Houston laced doobies with rock cocaine.
Basically, you and Oprah made dinner together. You're welcome.
Because I record it every day and think about it the last 3 hours of work, it's really my
The First Week of New Oprah Survival Plan works like this: Think in terms of quick, defrostable results that still require a stove. Then, buy as much frozen food as possible and some sort of really powerful bottled sauce, so the quality of the food is completely masked. This will save you, at the very least, the entire hour needed to enjoy uninterrupted, sobbing-if-you're-lucky, Oprah bliss. When it's over, dry your eyes, pry yourself off the couch, dump a whole lotta frozen food into a pan and douse it with sauce.
When he arrives, appear moderately (don't overdo it, Oprah promotes honesty) exhausted and say something breathless like, "I sure hope you like chicken and fresh vegetable stir-fry."
In the end, he doesn't starve and you probably learned how to live your best life, help children in Africa and all about how Whitney Houston laced doobies with rock cocaine.
Basically, you and Oprah made dinner together. You're welcome.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
The Green Movement
I've been reading that it's vital to significantly increase my intake of all things green. You know, broccoli, spinach, frogs. If you don't have one of those fancy farmer's markets nearby, just grab a handful of grass. Or a pickle. Whatever is available, really.
The experts say putting green things in your body is like lining up little disease-fighting, anti-aging soldiers and preparing them for war. Also, greens contain a lot of folic acid, which is helpful in pregnancy. Basically, I've convinced myself that if I eat this crap, I will be fertile, young and disease-free forever. Seriously, it better work.
After a week of kale salad for lunch, I've discovered these greens have additional powers. I'm far too much of a lady to be explicit, so instead I'll describe a recent evening in our house.
Me: Night darling. (We're very 1950's like that)
Husband: Your skin looks amazing and you seem to be rid of all potential for disease, which makes me even more attracted to you. Want to snuggle?
Me: Sure, let me raise the blanket and scootch on over.
Husband: (Dry heaving) REALLY? REALLY?
So the greens have a downside. Just don't eat them before boarding an airplane. Or riding an elevator. Or before you plan to utilize the "fertile" advantages they claim to provide.
Gastastic Raw Kale Salad
Ingredients
Kale
Cherry or grape tomatoes
Pine Nuts
Dried Cranberries
Lemon Juice
Olive Oil
S&P
Wash greens well and chop, leaving stems out. Add tomatoes, pine nuts, cranberries. Dress with fresh lemon juice, olive oil and salt and pepper to taste.
The experts say putting green things in your body is like lining up little disease-fighting, anti-aging soldiers and preparing them for war. Also, greens contain a lot of folic acid, which is helpful in pregnancy. Basically, I've convinced myself that if I eat this crap, I will be fertile, young and disease-free forever. Seriously, it better work.
After a week of kale salad for lunch, I've discovered these greens have additional powers. I'm far too much of a lady to be explicit, so instead I'll describe a recent evening in our house.
Me: Night darling. (We're very 1950's like that)
Husband: Your skin looks amazing and you seem to be rid of all potential for disease, which makes me even more attracted to you. Want to snuggle?
Me: Sure, let me raise the blanket and scootch on over.
Husband: (Dry heaving) REALLY? REALLY?
So the greens have a downside. Just don't eat them before boarding an airplane. Or riding an elevator. Or before you plan to utilize the "fertile" advantages they claim to provide.
Gastastic Raw Kale Salad
Ingredients
Kale
Cherry or grape tomatoes
Pine Nuts
Dried Cranberries
Lemon Juice
Olive Oil
S&P
Wash greens well and chop, leaving stems out. Add tomatoes, pine nuts, cranberries. Dress with fresh lemon juice, olive oil and salt and pepper to taste.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
New stuff can be old stuff
There are weeks that life is boring enough to provide absolutely nothing bloggable. This is one.
Here's what happened so far:
- I read an article that said a Victoria's Secret model eats steel cut oatmeal every morning. I bought some, tried to cook it in the microwave, and it blew up in my face.
- The person who is actually legitimate enough to own the previous name of my blog, Kitchen on Fire, called me out on my blatent thievery and it almost landed me in the Big House.
See? Standard stuff.
Finally, a shout out to my brother, Mike, and Rene Rich from Learn Cook Eat, a fantastic company here in Chicago that offers cooking classes/parties in your own home. Both independently thought of my snazzy new blog name and I very much appreciate it.
Sorry Rene, the brother had to be mentioned first. Blood is thicker than water. But you knew that. You're a chef. Although you probably don't bleed in your food like I do. Anyway, thanks.
Here's what happened so far:
- I read an article that said a Victoria's Secret model eats steel cut oatmeal every morning. I bought some, tried to cook it in the microwave, and it blew up in my face.
- The person who is actually legitimate enough to own the previous name of my blog, Kitchen on Fire, called me out on my blatent thievery and it almost landed me in the Big House.
See? Standard stuff.
Finally, a shout out to my brother, Mike, and Rene Rich from Learn Cook Eat, a fantastic company here in Chicago that offers cooking classes/parties in your own home. Both independently thought of my snazzy new blog name and I very much appreciate it.
Sorry Rene, the brother had to be mentioned first. Blood is thicker than water. But you knew that. You're a chef. Although you probably don't bleed in your food like I do. Anyway, thanks.
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