The Green Movement

I've been reading that it's vital to significantly increase my intake of all things green. You know, broccoli, spinach, frogs. If you don't have one of those fancy farmer's markets nearby, just grab a handful of grass. Or a pickle. Whatever is available, really.

The experts say putting green things in your body is like lining up little disease-fighting, anti-aging soldiers and preparing them for war. Also, greens contain a lot of folic acid, which is helpful in pregnancy. Basically, I've convinced myself that if I eat this crap, I will be fertile, young and disease-free forever. Seriously, it better work.

After a week of kale salad for lunch, I've discovered these greens have additional powers. I'm far too much of a lady to be explicit, so instead I'll describe a recent evening in our house.

Me: Night darling. (We're very 1950's like that)

Husband: Your skin looks amazing and you seem to be rid of all potential for disease, which makes me even more attracted to you. Want to snuggle?

Me: Sure, let me raise the blanket and scootch on over.

Husband: (Dry heaving) REALLY? REALLY?

So the greens have a downside. Just don't eat them before boarding an airplane. Or riding an elevator. Or before you plan to utilize the "fertile" advantages they claim to provide.

Gastastic Raw Kale Salad

Ingredients
Kale
Cherry or grape tomatoes
Pine Nuts
Dried Cranberries
Lemon Juice
Olive Oil
S&P

Wash greens well and chop, leaving stems out. Add tomatoes, pine nuts, cranberries. Dress with fresh lemon juice, olive oil and salt and pepper to taste.